Black Girls' Night Out: Olivia Pope (#ScandalABC)

4 x 16 - "It's Good to Be a Kink"

So I owe this blog two weeks and my verdict on this one is...meh.

Last week, Abby's job was threatened because her new boyfriend Leo (Sally Langston's ex-fixer) and her ex-boyfriend David Rosen both had (kinky) sex with a chick who's about to publish a tell-all on her dalliances.  She likes to pick up strangers and play roughhouse with them, and now she's written all about it, complete with code names Olivia knows the press will crack in no time.

Let me start by saying 1) it's great that Liv & Co are back to working cases with, you know, scandals, and 2) I don't know why Abby's still working at the White House.

She commands no respect with Cyrus or the Grant family, and every time we see her she is get clobbered by the press.  So I'm like...*blink*.  Let her lose this job.  Let her pack her shit and go back to OPA where she belongs.  With Stephen gone and Harrison dead, Abby's currently the sanest member that crew has left and they need her there.


Black Girls' Night Out: Cookie Lyon #Empire

I know this is overdue, but a pygmy's been really tired lately, so I'm going to borrow the top ten craziest moments from the finale (as listed by the Hollywood Reporter) and provide my own commentary.

10. Lucious kicks Cookie out of Empire

He most certainly did. Porsha makes a slip and Lucious finds out Cookie went a long weekend with Malcolm. He rescinds her access pass and throws her out promptly.

Of course, he realizes he's overreacting and lets her back in.

9. Hakeem hurls insults at Lucious & drops the mic

Yes, he did. While freestyling for Snoop Dogg, Hakeem goes in on his dad, threatens to leave Empire and take his "bitch" - meaning Anika.


#OUAT, That Was Awful

Tiffany Boone as a young Ursula
After a week or so of hype and fan-baiting, Once Upon a Time's Ursula Fail reached new heights on - get this - the episode which revolves around her.

This was some of the most excruciating, repetitive, ham-handed writing I've seen since...well, let's just say it made Sleepy Hollow's Season 2 look like a seven-figure production of Shakespeare (featuring either Tom Hiddleston or Patrick Stewart in a leading role).

The acting was painful; Ernie Hudson was cast as King Poseidon which, in the hands of a decent writer, would be awesome, but in this case his lines, plot, and yes - costume - left so much to be desired.  Tiffany Boone portrayed his daughter Ursula in her youth, a mermaid who transforms into the infamous squid-lady during an anti-climactic scene which also reveals she's not the original "sea goddess of old" - her daddy just named her after the goddess.


Game Sisters: Tanya in Mortal Kombat X

I swore to myself I wasn't going to fuck around with this franchise anymore (except maybe the films/web series...oddly enough they tend to do those well), but after what I'm guessing was major uproar for cult fans of this character, my main Boss Bitch is back in the game and I just want to see what she can do...if only for the last time.


The Fashion of Fish (#Gotham)

So as many of you know by now, Jada Pinkett Smith will not be returning to Gotham for Season 2.
Jada Pinkett Smith is leaving a lot of Gotham fans distraught after revealing that she will not return to the show next season. During an interview on Live With Kelly and Michael, Pinkett Smith said she only signed on for one year.

“I don’t think so, no. I signed for a year and the year is up,” the actress said in response to a question regarding her return. “But there are some great things coming ahead on Gotham, believe you me. There’s a lot of good stuff coming.”

There’s no word on how Pinkett Smith’s character will leave the show, but during a recent episode, Fish Mooney gouged out her own eye. In an interview with Extra, Pinkett Smith alluded to a possible surprise as Fish Mooney makes her exit from

“You never know what Fish might have up her sleeve,” she told Extra.
She's not kidding. We've been meaning to do a series on Fish but Gotham wasn't all that interesting for a while, and we wanted to see how she'd be developed. The character of Fish Mooney is brand new to the Batman universe, and I bet is specifically created for Smith.  In other words, I think of her as a Lure; skepticism about a pre-Batman story was dimmed when she signed on.  Instead of being cynical, viewers got curious.  And now that she's helped build up the fanbase, she's leaving.

People have to understand: before the crazy antics of Cookie Lyon, there was the sheer demented ruthlessness of Fish.


Black Girls' Night Out: Olivia Pope #ScandalABC #BringBackStephenFinch

God help us.

Okay, so as you now know, Huck's real name is Diego Munoz.  We know this because it was revealed this week.  Huck's name - one of the most tightly guarded secrets of the show - was handed over to us this week kind of out of the blue, without ceremony or suspense, and fans didn't gasp like we expected to when we finally learned his name.

Instead we saw it for what it was: Scandal, for all its talk about not expecting/needing/wanting to be on the air much longer, Olivia Pope & Associates really do want to hang on for one more year.

This wasn't even a Liv-heavy episode; on the one hand, Huck's wife Kim shows up to David Rosen's office with the B-613 files Huck gave her (you know, 'cause she didn't believe).  David has a panic attack with Jake Ballard as the two try to figure out who Diego Munoz is and why he's giving Kin these files, Huck mentions that uh, by the way, he is Diego Munoz, or rather...was.

I felt zero impact.  Did y'all feel any impact?  Because I felt zero impact.  The episode's friggin' title is "The Testimony of Diego Munoz" - right there and then I knew it was Huck!!!!

So anyways, the guys - still in panic mode - decide they need to steer Kim away from this because it could fall back on them, and of course, Liv.  Huck says he can take care of it (read: claiming insanity and that he made the whole B-613 thing up) but instead his wife convinces him to go on the record with David Rosen and talk about B-613.

Why are we still talking about B-613?  Why is anyone still talking or caring about B-613?  Exactly how many critics and fans have to politely suggest that the B-613 aspect of the show needs to go quietly into the good night and leave us be before Shondaland finally gets the hint?  Because now David Rosen, white hat back on, wants to pursue the case and seek justice, and since getting James Novak killed apparently wasn't enough for him last time, I guess we have to just wait and see who dies for this next.


Black Girls' Night Out: Cookie Lyon #Empire

First of all, y'all...there's a Cookie Lyon Wisdom Generator.

Secondly, this week was crazy, but in a good way.  Cookie wasn't over the top this week (which is fun), but she sure kept it real.

With Anika gone, Lucious is now free to marry Cookie, and sets about to do so...without actually telling Cookie.  See, Lucious has it all worked out in his head: he and Cookie are going to get married and live together in his 18,000-square foot mansion.  They are going to take in little Lola Lyon, that tiny human everyone in the world is currently dreaming of kidnapping, and get the "second chance" they didn't have with the boys, because apparently Jamal is not father material being gay and all.  *cue eye roll*

After all, through flashbacks it's revealed just how much Lucious dropped the ball while Cookie was in jail.  First he refuses to accept Jamal for being gay.  Then we find out the family knew about Andre's bipolar disorder years ago (when he had a psychotic break and disrupted Lucious's single with Angie (Mary J. Blige), but since no son of Lucious could possibly be mentally ill, he silenced everyone about it and spent the next several years pretending like his son didn't have to pop pills just to stay level.  For real though?

This episode revealed the level of not only Lucious's bottomless selfishness, but his deep-seated fear (and denial) of his impending death.

So now Cookie's come into this mess, trying to bring her boys together and be there for them.  She goes to a family meeting at a very swanky clinic where Jennifer Hudson plays Andre's polished music therapist (whom he's obviously hot for).  Cookie didn't know her child was sick; first she's in denial about his "white people's disease" and then as reality dawns, she goes into deep, serious mode.  Like, Cookie knew things were bad while she was away - Hakeem's fuck-ups were more than enough proof of that - but now it's finally starting to dawn on her just how bad things got.  We get to watch her mood deepen as we see her researching bipolar disorder and realizing what her son's been going through.  I think Andre's illness is what breaks the camel's back for her, because we also see that she's over Lucious when Malcolm (Derek Luke) walks in and announces he's "fallen for the wife of [his] commander" and needs to maintain his distance.

And since Cookie now has negative fucks to give, they end up having sex right there and then.