Black Girls' Night Out: An African City

Can't believe I didn't post this here sooner.  Anyone else impatiently waiting for Season 2?



Dear white people on my Facebook feed: I love you. I really do. But seriously, please take some advice from one white person to another. Don’t look publicly stupid by arguing any of the following about Ferguson:

1) “‘They’re'” just playing the race card it’s not about race.” Yes, it is. Because no matter what we find out when the Michael Brown investigation is over, young black men are being profiled and targeted by police in a way that white men are not. If you’re 18 and you’re white you get a chance to explain yourself. If you’re 18 and you’re black your parents (maybe) get an attorney to explain your death. That’s not equality. And see those quotes around “they’re?” The fact that you think this is “their” problem and not OUR problem shows you that segregation is alive and well–at least in your mind.

2) “But our president is black so race is no longer a factor.” A black president doesn’t mean shit. One half-white, Harvard-educated head of state doesn’t indicate any more about the average black experience in America than Bill Gates’s wealth indicates about my bank account. We both white. We ain’t both rich.

3) “This stuff happens to white kids too but no one talks about it.” What the fuck are you talking about? No. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to white kids too. You know why? Because white people have power by virtue of being white. When a white kid dies under suspicious circumstances, people pay attention. Police don’t prey on white people. Because they can’t. And even if you find a couple of analogous situations YOU STILL WON’T GET ANYWHERE CLOSE to what the black community experiences every day. Get your head out of your ass. You don’t even believe this shit.

Why I'm Justified

I've been meaning to sit down and write this post, but I got caught up in the marvelously sexy, dark, and malevolently murderous world of Macallan and Madalyne Zhou.  And Ankh kinda started it.  But it's time to pause for the cause.

A little while ago, I got hit up on social media by someone who wanted to get to know me.  I was comfortable with being an online pal, as we live on two separate continents, and this was established by me immediately.  But for whatever reason, this person jumped in with both feet and wanted to start exchanging information, as in pictures.   Somebody had defined notions of beauty, and s/he "needed" to know what I looked like in order to "assign values."  In order to be an online buddy.

*snort*  Think about that for a second.  

More on the algebra fuckshit in a moment.


Drone-Speak in the Dating World

So Amaya was recently talking to this dude who said a few things which stuck out to me.  At first, I was going to do a post on the phrase he used to describe himself - "picky and judgmental" which, in my humble experience, is generally code for, "I like women with 'perfect' bodies" - but I changed my mind.  He said something else which stuck out to me even more:

"Don't treat me like someone from your past."

Okay, so rewind...a long, long time ago, when Sex and the City was still airing new eps, there was an episode in which Carrie Bradshaw examined how women seek the "lesson" in failed relationships.  I think she was implying that women simply look for those lessons as a way to feel better about ourselves when things go south.  You know...that whole everything-happens-for-a-reason philosophy.

First of all, let me say that I am a firm believer that shit really does happen for a reason...if the person in question is smart enough to see it.  The saying "hindsight is 20/20" exists for a reason.  Some of you have looked over the past 10-20 years of your lives, wiped your brow and said, "Whew; so glad I dodged that bullet."  I do that almost every day these days.  There is a reason why we weren't meant to be with that guy or that girl we met in high school or that study buddy in college, at the bar, at our last job, on vacation - whatever.  There's a reason the timing never seemed right and circumstances kept pushing us apart.


Ladies of the Club, We Have Illicit Blasian Love

I've been keeping tabs on TNT's Murder in the First and in the most recent episode, "Family Matters", I found out that Nicole Ari Parker is playing a married woman, and Ian Anthony Dale is her side boo.

You just gotta wonder how that all got started.

"Start licking" (she actually says that).

Busted (not by her husband though; we haven't met him yet).


Year One Complete

A/N:  We discussed this in part in a previous post.  I think this is an opportunity to continue the discussion in regards to sistahs living abroad.

Also crossposted on Musings in the Dark, Black Girl Nerds, and The Blasian Narrative.

I just finished my first year abroad.  I would say that I can’t believe that a year has passed, but that wouldn’t be true.  I can believe it.  I’ve just experienced it.  I’d like to share a little bit with you.

What’s it like in this part of the world?  Well, I can tell you this: I get stared at A LOT, and the natives sneak pictures of me on the sly.  Sometimes, the stares come with smiles, other times, it’s just outright shock.  This is typical for a lot of the older Chinese, as many of them may never have laid eyes on a black person before.  I always smile and say hello, because if I am their first, I need it to be a positive experience. 


Count the (Race) Fail

You'd think I'd know by now not to click on random videos on YouTube, but I just can't seem to help myself.  Curiosity got the better of me in this instance, and I got exactly what I deserved.  Because I really should have known better.  I was flabbergasted, offended and morbidly curious all at the same time.

While I can appreciate the attempt to discuss race and interracial dating in an honest, straightforward manner, I don't see what's helpful or thought-provoking about this particular discussion.  It seems to want to present itself as an open-minded conversation about what can admittedly be a touchy subject, but it really comes off as uninformative and a bit ridiculous. They don't really say anything substantive unless you include the stereotypes about black men being well-endowed, Asian women being submissive wives, using the word "exotic" to describe non-white people, the hotness of Latin lovers, and a somewhat creepy fixation on AW/WM pairings.  If I could insert a "mind blown" gif here, I would.

And I couldn't help but notice that no black folks were included in this discussion.  But then again, maybe it's best that they weren't.  Because this conversation is filled with all kinds of nope. 

We definitely need to have discussions about race in this country.  Many, many discussions.  But not like this.

*Cross-posted on The Blasian Narrative